On October 27, 2007, I wrote a post entitled, "Is Michael Bay Able to Save Himself?" The post's title was in reference to his latest movie, Transformers. I simply couldn't believe that so many people could absolutely rave about a flick and it could still be as bad as Bay's previous "efforts." You see, I still don't understand how an advertising point like "From the director of Armageddon and Pearl Harbor" actually sells tickets.
So I reluctantly watched the movie, and my answer to the question "Is Michael Bay able to save himself?" is a very ashamed and self-disgusted "NO!" How could I have let a movie like Transformers pique my interest? How could I have let the opinions of millions of bovine-minded masses influence my life? This is like that time when everybody thought 300 was the greatest movie on earth and I was like, "Meh."
Transformers is mediocrity at its most shameless. It's astounding to think that Michael Bay, given nearly 250 million dollars, can only make a movie this boring. For Christ's sake, man, the explosions aren't even real anymore! Where's the fun? What happened to the Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry days of exciting filmmaking? Vanishing Point, anybody? Death Proof?
That's an interesting concept there - I didn't initially think that Death Proof was as amazing as Tarantino's other work, but now that I realize that it's specifically Michael Bay he's out to punish with that movie, I think it's the coolest movie of all time. Next time I watch it, I'll be imagining Michael Bay in Stuntman Mike's driver seat while Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell, and Tracie Thoms kick his ass. I'll be cheering for them.
"You know I can't let you go......without tapping that ass!"
CRUNCH!
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1 comment:
I got stuck watching Death Proof at a party and I wanted to die!!!! Honestly that was the most boring movie I've ever seen in my life. And seriously, it had more minutes of women sitting around talking about their love lives than the last three chick-flicks I saw combined.
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